Value-aware
TL;DR: We all have a unique perspective on what is important in life; understanding what drives us and what is important to us can help us choose.
Values describe what is most important to us, what motivates us in life. They are our deepest inner desires; they describe what we need and how we want to be toward ourselves, others, and the world around us. Knowing our values deepens our self-awareness and can give a sense of “Knowing who we are”.
Core values
We have many values, but they are not all equally important. Some values feel more essential; they point to who we are at our core. Identifying them - maybe four to five - can help inform our choices and serve as guides in our lives.
Identifying core values
When we experience strong emotions, there might be core values in play. If we e.g. feel happy, angry, or sad - something in our experience is moving us in our core. This “something” can point us to our core values. We define them; they can change and evolve - they are ours.
Examples
Below is a table with examples of what values can be. They are typically “verbs” expressed as nouns. We can also describe them with several words and add descriptive text to them to help us relate better to them.
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Authenticity
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Achievement
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Activism
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Adventure
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Autonomy
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Balance
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Beauty
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Boldness
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Compassion
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Challenge
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Clarity
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Community
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Competency
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Connection
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Control
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Contribution
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Creativity
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Creation
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Curiosity
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Determination
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Empathy
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Excellence
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Fairness
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Faith
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Family
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Freedom
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Friendships
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Fun
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Growth
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Happiness
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Harmony
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Honesty
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Humor
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Influence
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Inclusivity
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Justice
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Kindness
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Knowledge
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Leadership
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Learning
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Love
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Loyalty
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Nature
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Nourishment
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Meaning
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Openness
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Optimism
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Peace
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Play
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Pleasure
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Purpose
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Recognition
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Relationship
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Religion
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Reputation
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Respect
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Responsibility
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Security
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Self-Respect
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Sensuality
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Service
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Spirituality
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Stability
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Success
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Status
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Trust
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Wealth
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Wisdom
Values as guides
Knowing our values can help us focus on what matters most to us. They can help us navigate and choose our own path among so many options - offered by other people and by society.
To let go of how we should “be” and what we should “do” in favour of what feels true to us and brings us alive. Every moment we make choices about how to spend our time, what to pay attention to, and where we direct our energy. Whether conscious or unconscious, our values influence these choices - and thereby also our actions, our relationships, our goals, and our sense of purpose.
Balance
As we naturally make choices based on values, we might also overprioritize some and underprioritize others. This might be because of life circumstances or just because of habits. Some might not get much priority and would feel good to pay more attention to, while others get filled so much that it drains us or affects us negatively in other ways. Different values might also create inner conflict if they somehow work against each other. Awareness gives choice.
Other people
Knowing our own values can also help us relate to other people, as we can communicate what we need more clearly and better understand how others respond. It also helps us empathise with their needs and perspectives, recognising that they may be different from our own. By understanding that our values are personal rather than universal truths, we become more self-aware, empathetic, and respectful of others' differences.
Values in practice
When we honor our values and feel they are in balance, life feels good. When not, something feels off. Here are some questions to reflect to reflect on:
Knowing
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What is the one word (or a few) that represents your core values?
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What are 2-3 words for each that add flavor to the "one word"?
Living
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How are my values currently showing up in my life?
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Are any values exhausted, neglected, or in tension with one another?
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What am I doing, and how am I being, to honour each value?
Relationships
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How does awareness of my values help me relate to the people around me?
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Where do my values differ from those of people close to me, and how might we meet each other?
Guiding
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What's one small action I could take today, this month, or this year?
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What would it look like to be living my value fully, three years from now?
