What makes us tick?
We kind of know, but putting words to it makes it clearer. In coaching, we call these our core values - and identifying them is always part of a coaching relationship.
Values
Values describe what is most important to us, what motivates us in life. They are our deepest inner desires; they describe what we need and how we want to be toward ourselves, others, and the world around us.
Core values
We have many values, but they are not all equally important to us. Some values feel more essential, shaping our choices and defining who we are at our core. In coaching, we focus on these core values — usually four to five — because they represent what matters most to us and therefore serve as guides in our lives.
Knowing our core values deepens our self-awareness and gives us a sense of “Knowing who we are”.
Identifying core values
When we get emotional, there are usually core values in play. If we e.g. notice when we feel happy, angry, or sad - something in our experience is moving something in our core. This “something” can point us to our core values. We define them; they can change and evolve - they are ours.
Values examples
Below is a table with example values. They are typically “verbs” expressed as nouns. Looking at these values might help get inspired with different “flavors” or topics that have not come up for us. We can also describe them with more words - if that helps us relate to them.
Authenticity
Achievement
Activism
Adventure
Authority
Autonomy
Balance
Beauty
Boldness
Compassion
Challenge
Citizenship
Community
Competency
Connection
Contribution
Creativity
Curiosity
Determination
Empathy
Excellence
Fairness
Faith
Family
Fame
Freedom
Friendships
Fun
Growth
Happiness
Harmony
Honesty
Humor
Influence
Justice
Kindness
Knowledge
Leadership
Learning
Love
Loyalty
Nature
Nourishing
Meaningful Work
Openness
Optimism
Peace
Playfulness
Pleasure
Recognition
Relationship
Religion
Respect
Responsibility
Security
Self-Respect
Service
Sensing
Spirituality
Stability
Success
Status
Trustworthiness
Wealth
Wisdom
Values as guides
Our values help us focus on what matters to us, so we don't blindly follow the values and expectations of others. To let go of what we “should” be doing in favour of what we want to be doing.
Every moment we make choices about how to spend our time, what to pay attention to, and where we direct our energy. Whether conscious or unconscious, our values influence these choices and thereby also our actions, our relationships, our goals, and our sense of purpose.
Values check-in
When we honor our values, we are value-aligned, and life feels good. When not, something feels off. We can use the values consciously by checking in when making decisions, small or big. Everyone has a unique take on what’s important in life.